Are you a Sin or a Sinner?
by Umbra6255
Summary: WARNING: This fanfiction contains slight Wincest at the end so if you don't like this ship, I suggest you don't read it. Read at your own risks. Sam learns about Dean's deal with the crossroads demon. Oneshot D: And of course... FLUFF :D
"You what?!"

These words, like venom, were spat at the older Winchester's face. This is what happens when your younger brother learns you sold your soul to bring him back from the death. Really, Dean had expected it. At first he made Bobby swear he wouldn't tell him, swear that he would keep his mouth shut about it because the last thing he wanted was that Sam learns about the deal he made with the crossroads demon. But, sooner or later, he just had to admit it. He couldn't hide the truth from him forever. He would learn, even if he didn't want it. It was how the events were twisted and didn't made sense to Sam, how Dean had lied, that he had begun to doubt. When he questioned him about it, and he was dead serious, the older brother knew he couldn't keep lying to his face anymore. And that is the exact reason why he repeated himself, even though he hated it.

"I made a deal with a demon to bring you back, because you were dead."

Dean was calm, he had to be, but he knew his brother wouldn't just go with it and accept it, without asking anything. No, instead, he was expecting Sam to yell at him like he never did before because he was well aware he wouldn't like it, he already looked mad about it.

"Dean what the hell? I thought you knew that all this crap can't end up well. We've seen that in a lot of occasions! Yet, now you tell me you sold your soul? Just, what the hell?!"

And here we go. Again, he wasn't expecting Sam to react positively toward this. But if he was going to yell at him then, chances are, he will yell at him, too. He was already feeling his calm wavering and, if his younger brother kept going at him, he would lose his temper soon.

"I will repeat myself again. I did it because you were dead.", Dean said but it only rewarded him a bitch face from Sam and he rolled his eyes.

"So what?"

The older Winchester widened his eyes. He was already starting to lose it. These words... They hurt. It's like Sam was saying that he wasn't important for him and, that, was something he couldn't stand. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists, trying his best to hold back his anger, glaring at the younger Winchester.

" _So what?!_ Really Sammy? You think that you're not important to me, or that I don't care about you? Of course I do, you know that! And that's exactly why I made that deal, because I care."

Sam clenched his fists too but it wasn't because he was trying to hold back his anger, no, he was already angered, but because he was trying not to jump at his brother's throat. Dean didn't seem to understand his point and it was so frustrating.

"I mean, Dean! I know you're supposed to take care of me and all-" He was cut off by Dean's voice, who didn't want to stop. He wanted to make it clear that he didn't do that for nothing.

"Of course I'm supposed to take care of you, Sammy! That's my job, my true job. Yes I'm a hunter, but in the end, my one and only job is to make sure you're well and safe! Man, I got to protect you. Even if it means I have to sacrifice my life to make sure you are, I will! 'Cause that's what I do, and I would do it again. I made the right choice. Don't tell me otherwise Sam, don't tell me it was all for nothing."

Sam took a deep breath, it was getting harder and harder to hold back. All Dean was saying, he didn't wanted to hear it. Because of him, because of that "job" their dad gave him, his big brother's soul was going to be owned by a demon. Sooner or later, they would come for him and he would die. What was the point to all of this? Taking another deep breath, he calmed down, even if it was only for a few seconds, he had to ask.

"How long?" He took a pause, his face all serious like. "How much time do you have left?"

Dean glanced away. Clearly he wasn't expecting that question and it made him uncomfortable that he had to answer it. He wasn't planning to, he would have much preferred to keep this a secret from his brother so, until it would be game over for him, he could enjoy the time he has left with him. But this, this was bothersome. He tried to stay quiet and change subject but Sam was glaring at him and he wouldn't let go until he had an answer. He had to. He was forced to.

"A year."

Sam's face twisted in an expression Dean could only call anger. But he could see sadness as well.

"Then it wasn't worth it. It was totally not worth it."

In a fit of anger, the oldest of the two threw his arm at the wall nearby, his hand hitting with a bang as he gritted his teeth again. His knuckles were white because he clenched them too hard. But that didn't matter now.

"Oh you tell me! It was friggin' worth it Sam! 'Cause you know what? You were dead! And it was my fault! Because I couldn't protect you! I had that one job, and I screwed it up! I had to make up for it! For what I've done to you! So, tell me it wasn't worth it all you want but let me tell you something. It was friggin' worth it Sammy, hear me? I couldn't stand the fact you were dead, okay?!"

Sam approached his brother dangerously, soon grabbing him by the collar and pulling him so he could have a closer look to his face. Then he spat at his face.

"Are you crazy? I will repeat myself. I was dead. So what? You're being selfish, Dean! You brought me back to life, but at what costs? I'm alive, but you're going to die in only one year! A year, Dean! That's all you have left! And what do you think I'll do then? You'd rather bring me back to life, but what about me when you're going to die, huh? Did you think about that when you made the deal with the demon? We both know what happens when the deal ends! It won't be pretty. Did you think about how I was going to feel when you'll be ripped apart by hell hounds? Did you think about _me_ at all when you made the deal?! Obviously not. Because if you did, then I would still be dead!"

Sam could see tears forming in Dean's eyes and for a second, he just wanted to apologize for his harsh words and wrap his arms around his big brother because everybody knew the older Winchester never cried and seeing him on the verge of tears... It was heart-breaking, to say the least. But Sam resisted.

"Yes, say it! I am selfish! I just wanted my baby brother back! I just wanted to do my job right, for once! 'Cause I always seem to fail in whatever I do! I'm just trying to do the right thing, man... But I failed again..." His voice broke down as he sobbed, only once. A single man tear falling on his cheek. But he quickly wiped it away. "Sammy I can't live without you, y'a hear me?" His voice came out like a whisper and just with that line, it showed how it broke him as much as it broke Sam. He had to do this and the only apparent reason was because he couldn't live without his little brother, no matter how much other significant reasons he gave. In the end, everything he does, it was for Sammy. It was always Sammy.

"Believe me, I don't want to die either, man... But it was for you, so it was the least of my problems." Dean was sure Sam didn't knew all that, how the only thing he cared for, the only thing he had left in this world, was him.

But Sam didn't softened a bit. He stood his ground but he came up with a new solution.

"Then we just got to find a way to cancel your deal."

Dean took a deep breath and exhaled deeply, shaking his head. "Yeah about that, there's something else I need to tell you..." He took a pause, avoiding his brother's gaze. "We can't just do that." Sam gave him a confused look, so he continued. "There was a 'bonus' to our deal... If we try to find away to get rid of that deal, you'll just end up dead, again. So, no thank you."

Sam clenched his fists and punched Dean right in the face, who didn't even tried to stop it even though it was obvious, he knew it was coming. He backed off with the hit, soon bringing a hand to where his younger's brother knuckle landed. He didn't say anything else.

"You wanted to make it so complicated, huh? You did it, Dean! There's no way we can save you now, right? That is, if we keep me alive. You wanted to die _that_ bad to save me?!", he spat, his words resonating in the entire house, Bobby's.

Then, it was Dean's turn to punch him, it hit Sam's chin, leaving the younger brother frustrated like he hasn't been in a while.

"What if I said yes?! What if I told you I did wanted to die that bad to save you?! In the end, it's all about you, Sammy! My life is about you!", the older Winchester spat back.

When Sam straightened up again, he threw himself at Dean, trying to punch him again but, the oldest was expecting that reaction from him and he just grabbed his knuckle with his bare hands before he punched him in the guts, sending his younger brother away, gasping for air.

"Sorry Sammy... I'm not just going to watch this time."

Dean wasn't really eager to beat up his little brother but Sam didn't seemed like he wanted to understand with words, so he had to use strength so he could maybe hear him out. So he decided to go all out. He threw himself at his brother who, by now, had stopped gasping for air. He still look stunned but it was only a matter of seconds before he could fight back, after all Dean had given him a powerful blow. Sam didn't had the time to react for this second punch in the face, but he sure reacted when Dean tried to punch him in the guts again. He kicked him off, sending his older brother away for now before he went full out lashing at him with punches.

They were both good hunters, and good fighters. Their strength were most-likely equal to each other and none could really win this fight. After a few minutes of intense fighting, the brothers started feeling tired and their attacks were getting slower. They had bruises all over their faces, and their arms. Dean had his inferior lip bleeding while Sam had his nose bleeding. Considering the fact they weren't really trying to hurt the other really bad, or just knock the other off, they were aiming at the places that they were used to getting hurt; in the face, and on the arms.

After another minute passing by, the brothers were panting and were just looking at each other, not trying anything against the other anymore, both exhausted. Then, at the exact same time, they both slumped to the ground due to this feeling of tiredness flowing in their bodies. They stayed quiet, both not knowing what they should say, or just wondering if they should speak.

"I'm sorry Sam... I wish it wouldn't have come to this... To this fight and the deal... But fighting over it won't solve anything. I'm going to Hell in a year and we can't do anything about it so we better live and enjoy the time we have together.", Dean finally said, not able to meet his brother's gaze, even though his was definitely trying to break through.

When the oldest finally allowed himself to look at the youngest, his eyes reflected pain, shame, sadness and anger but, most of all, it reflected the indescribable love he held for his brother. It was all about that, in the end, again. How much he was willing to do, really everything, to keep him safe.

At last, a small smile appeared on Sam's lips. He couldn't say he was willing to accept what Dean did just yet but he was willing to enjoy the time he got to spend with his brother.

"Alright. Let's enjoy our time together.", he declared with an heavy sigh escaping his lips. The other seemed to approve of that because he, too, had a smile appearing on his bloody face. He simply nodded, deciding he shouldn't add anything else for now. He was just glad his brother was willing to do this, it was just a little improvement, a proof that he didn't do all of this for nothing. He had his little brother back and swinging again and no matter how he felt like he would pay the price in Hell, in one year, he was sure he wasn't going to regret this, not ever. That's just how much he loved his younger brother.

While he was thinking, he didn't saw Sam approaching him and before he could ask about it, he felt a warm feeling on his lips. His eyes widening, he realized it was his brother's lips pressing against his that were providing him this feeling. For a moment, he thought about pushing him away but, after he thought about it twice, he knew that, deep down inside, he would go against his will. So, at last, he accepted what was happening and he closed his eyes, kissing back just like he would with another chick. Except, it was his little bro.

The thought of it being weird never did cross his mind. He was okay with it and if Sam did that it was probably because he was too. But they didn't spoke when they broke away. They just stood up and headed to bed after washing their wounds on their own, just like they usually did. It was like it never happened, though they both knew it did.

That night, Dean felt the need to sleep in the same bed as Sam. Just like when they were younger. Except, now they both knew they had these feeling for each other, even though they didn't spoke about it yet. He was scared to ask but he had to because if he didn't, he knew he couldn't sleep.

"Hey, Sammy? You awake?", he asked, being the first thing he said to him after the... thing. He heard a groan and his brother shifting in his bed but finally he heard what he thought was a 'yeah' and he gulped down. He knew he wanted to ask but he wasn't able to say the words. "Uh... Would you mind... Coming over here?" It was the best thing he could do.

Nothing happened first. But then, he heard Sam standing up and walking over his bed. His footsteps were heavy, probably because he was tired and he just slumped down in the bed next to his brother. Dean turned on his side so he could face the other, who had his eyes closed already. A smile appeared on his lips as he shyly kissed his forehead, just like he used to do when they were younger. "G'night Sammy.", he commented before he wrapped an arm around his brother. Just before he closed his eyes to sleep, he saw a small smile forming on Sam's lips. Smiling contently, the older Winchester finally closed his eyes and doze off quickly at his brother's sides. Just like it always was.

-The End-


End file.
